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“It is possible to discover personal strength and happiness.”
How other people judge me has always worried me. As a gay infant, I cared deeply about being accepted and liked by others. For me, being judged “poorly” was terrifying and I did everything I could to “earn” the good nice of judgment. Little did I know that this normal human need to be liked and valued would turn into a sickness that would cripple my life many years down the road.
In my 40s, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I am sure this was rooted deeply in genetics and decades of dealing with viciously homophobic people. I felt toxic shame, had a breakdown and saw a psychiatrist. I took antidepressants to live a somewhat normal life. Unfortunately the antidepressants had really bad side effects and eventually I had to stop taking them.
Successful people learn to hide mental and physical illnesses. Over time, I was forced to disclose mine, and finally, at 50, I could no longer tolerate the demands on my sanity made by my high-powered career and I took prior retirement.
This major life modify was difficult. No longer needing to “go to the office” made it really easy to retreat into an internal earth
Nothing seems to rally theatre fans quite like a play starring, and about, attractive, complicated gay men. In London, The Inheritance, Angels in America, and A Little Life are among the most vital cultural events of the last decade. But beneath the erotically charged marketing campaigns featuring solemn, turtleneck-clad or partially nude actors draped over one another, it’s worth considering why, time and again, we turn to a collective group of gay peers to tell our stories in theatre. When I think about the canon of important modern theatre, the most prominent male lover representation comes in the form of shows with an ensemble of homosexual characters: those I mentioned above, as well as The Boys in the Band and Love! Valour! Compassion! being notable examples. This has led me to wonder: is a choral cast structure necessary for an authentic advocacy of gay lives and stories—or is it mere coincidence?
So far in the canon of theatre, it appears that gay men are most truthfully represented when gayness is the default, rather than a token, an exception, or a novelty to be exploited for plot. It can feel like a trope, one existing in parallel to famous scripts about group
How Gay Male Relationships are Different
How are gay male relationships different than heterosexual relationships or lesbian relationships?
Fundamentally, the difference is that in gay male bond both partners are administered by the hormone testosterone.
Ken Wilber, the famous philosopher, calls testosterone the “fuck and kill hormone”.
That doesn’t exactly conjure up passionate nights in front of the fireplace where we let down our guard and express our innermost secrets.
All this testosterone can sometimes be at odds with creating emotional connection. Often men have to learn how to link because estrogen, the connection hormone, is not flowing through our blood in large quantities.
That’s what couples counselors do—we teach connection.
What Gets Us Into Trouble
Men do have a reputation for sometimes being “douchey” when seeking sex. (For those who don’t comprehend, “douchey” is the adjective form of the noun “douche bag.”)
Sometimes, in the hunt for sex, testosterone takes over and the other part of organism male—the more tender part—gets submerged for a while. And in the large cities this sometimes creates a gay male subculture where we forget that even with a connect up, tende
Human Gay Male
For gay men who reject gender culture ideology.
Men’s social circles are shrinking. Studies in recent years have shown men today have fewer finish friends than men 30 years ago. Some men have no close friends.
Gay men who reject gender identity ideology can detect they lose even their closest friends if they speak out about it, or simply ask questions that don’t go along with the “LGBTQ+” orthodoxy.
In response to this context, HumanGayMale is a provider of community for lgbtq+ men who reject gender identity ideology. We maintain a monthly event in London, with new events starting up in other cities across the UK and worldwide, and an annual conference in January. You can read the report from our 2025 conference here.
If you’re a gay man who rejects gender identity ideology, then join for more details about upcoming events and related news as we add more to the programme and the website. You can also uncover out more on ourArticles and Interviews page.
Confirmed Events:
July 23rd, 6.30pm, Bristol
July 26th, 7pm, Gay Men’s Alternative to Glastonbury Pride
August 2nd, 1pm, Gay Men’s Alternative to Brighto
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